Though time has alleviated my pain,
There is a scar that will always remain.
Now, I can also hide my emotions like anyone,
And my tears don’t embarrass me anymore!
I wear this grin to disguise;
But deep inside there is a malaise!
Maybe things could have been better,
Maybe things could have been worse,
Or perhaps, they couldn’t have been any different.
My pain, my anguish, my sorrow;
Certainly is the treasure of my life.
My sorrow has made me melancholic,
It has made me mellow,
It has made me understanding, compassionate,
It has made me so wonderful.
It has given me the most beautiful gift of my life,
My poems, the reflections of my soul.
And now I can see myself much better,
Not as a body, but as a soul!
And now, my sorrow has matured a lot;
It doesn’t need a shoulder to cry,
It doesn’t ask me ‘WHY’?
It has attained a higher understanding,
‘There is much deeper meaning to all this suffering!’
And things could only get better!
So here I am, undefeated, undestroyed,
Much stronger than ever before;
And still victorious after all those retreats.
It’s due to my pain, my sorrow;
I am still hopeful about the morrow!
© Manish Hatwalne
(Originally written on : 28 June 1997)
Ramblings & reflections 
Your poems are very deep
and well-worded, kudos to you
for that!
Just wanted to mention, that almost
all of them revolve around,
‘my pain’,’my agony’,sufferings
and lessons learnt kinda stuff.
And it can get very dreary,
Very monotonous.
Try experimenting, write on a
positive, lighter note,
with a smile in your heart,
Trust me, your heart is
reflected in what you write.
And somebody shouldnt get down
reading depressed emotions.
Our professors always forbade us from reading
too much Sylvia Plath, cause all her stuff was
depressing. Take this in a constructive note.
All the best!
Cheers,
Gayatri Shenoy
Thanks for the comments Gayatri, I should have mentiond that most these poems here are more than 8-9 years old – and that was rather low phase of my life. But if you ponder about them – you’d realize that all they reflect are hope, a resolve to learn from your strong negative emotions – and come out stronger and wiser. And most of all – they convey hope , guts, or never-say-die attitude in adversity.
They acknowledge existence of sorrow/grief – human suffering due to negative emotions – but it’s more like holding on & carrying on against all odds!
Depression, if put correctly is just the opposite – it’s end of hope and learned helplessness. None of my poems end surrendering….
This is how this one ends (on a strong positive note) –
So here I am, undefeated, undestroyed,
Much stronger than ever before;
And still victorious after all those retreats.
It’s due to my pain, my sorrow;
I am still hopeful about the morrow!
Thanks for adding comments!!! There are other different ones, but they are unpublished – but maybe I can put one of them here.
– Manish
सुरेख ! हृदयाला भिडणारं… मला असं वाटतं की काय लिहायचं हे ठरवून लिहिण्यापेक्षा जे मनात येतं ते, तसं, कागदावर उतरवावं. जरी Negative, Depressing असलं तरी. तसं न केलं तर उलट ती अनुभवांशी प्रतारणा ठरेल. Positivity च्या प्रेमात पडताना हेही ध्यानात ठेवलं पाहिजे, की Negative हा शब्द आहे, कारण काहीतरी Negative घडतं. अन्यथा हा शब्द जन्मला नसता. आणि केवळ Positive Terminal असलेला Cell कोणी पाहिला आहे का ? 🙂
manish, so flattered that you have my blog as one of those you constantly keep in touch. thanks for the comment on the poem that i wrote. i will also keep in touch by reading your blog.